Dear 12 year old me,

Dear 12 year old me,

I am writing this letter to inform you that things will get better. Those angry scars across your thigh will fade, and your wrists will stop being a canvas for your pain. I promise. I know things are Goddamn awful for you, and I’m so, so sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise.

I know the Bad Man made you scared, but please don’t believe a word he says. You are beautiful. You are strong. You can keep fighting. This is the year he goes away. I know that seems impossible but it’s true, he will never lay a finger on you again. So keep going. Cry into your pillow, it doesn’t make you weak. Get out of bed, I know it’s the hardest task of the day, but you can do it. Talk to your parents, please, you’re scaring them.

In the future you’ll ace your exams (A*’s in Biology, Chemistry, and Physics!) and you’ll go to an amazing college. There will be a boy in the hallway, the one looking dorky and cute, the one smiling at you. Go talk to him. Or just do what I did and get really nervous and make a stupid joke…then run away awkwardly. But it’s okay, because your paths will cross again! You’ll go on a school trip, where you’re sat in a “train crash” so the emergency services can practice rescuing you. You’ll be covered in fake blood, wearing hospital scrubs, surrounded by smoke, and screaming people… and he’ll be sitting next to you making even stupider jokes and being just as awkward as you are.

This boy will make you realise how amazing you truly are. He’ll kiss your scars. He’ll hold you all night to keep the nightmares away. But most of all, he’ll be there for you. He knows your past, he’s intertwined in your present, and you’ll plan your future together.

Your future is filled with love, and hope, and opportunities. So please put the razor down, untie the rope, and look around you because the World is so beautiful. Just like you.

Lots of love,

Amy

(Written for Teens Tell Their Story)

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You Look Disgusting

A friend of mine showed me this video and suggested I make a blog post about it. Twenty seconds in and I had already made up my mind that I had to write about this.

This woman (whose blog you can visit here) posted photos of herself online when she was not wearing make up. The comments she recieved were awful, and phrases such as “revolting” and “ugly” and “gross” were thrown at her. Let’s just get this straight. You are entitled to have an opinion, but if you can’t express this opinion in a polite and respectable manner then please keep it to yourself. Especially about something as personal as someone’s appearance.

The woman in this video has acne. Almost as if she’s a human, right?! As a teenager I have acne. Growing up I had acne pretty bad and I was so self conscious so I used to cover my face in tons of makeup, and I used to have my hair hanging over my face to try and cover them up. Until I just woke up one day and just thought fuck it, I have spots because my body has a ton of chemicals whizzing around and there’s not much I can do about it. So I walked into school with no makeup on and my hair in a ponytail and guess what… no one cared! Please do not feel like you have to wear makeup to feel beautiful, and if you don’t like wearing makeup please don’t feel like you have to to please others.

But.

If you want to wear makeup because you like the way it looks and it makes you happy, then wear it, you’re beautiful! Don’t let anyone tell you what to put on your face.

So here’s a few final words for those reading this:

  • If you have spots, you’re beautiful.
  • If you don’t have spots, you’re beautiful.
  • If you don’t wear makeup, you’re beautiful.
  • If you wear makeup, you’re beautiful.
  • If you spread love and happiness, you’re beautiful.
  • If you’re reading this, you’re hella beautiful. Fact.

Thank you for reading and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic 🙂