Rant #2 Agar.io (A.k.a. The Most Frustrating Game Ever!)

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Proudest Moment of my Life.

I can’t be the only one who has played this game, right? Recently I’ve been obsessed with it! It’s called Agar.io, and basically you start off as a tiny cell and you have to go around eating the colourful dots (nutrients) and other cells that are smaller than you. Sounds simple, right? Nope! It is so frustrating. This game brings out the worst in me. Usually I’m quite a peaceful, content person, but after 5 minutes of this game I’m swearing like a sailor. Especially when some idiot eats you when you’ve spent 30 minutes trying to get to the top of the leader board. But, I did it! I was the biggest cell! One of the proudest moments of my life? Absolutely!

Please tell me I’m not the only one who plays this! Let me know in the comments if any of you have experienced the addictive frustration that is Agar.io. Thanks for reading 🙂

Dragon’s Loyalty Award!

I was nominated by two lovely bloggers: Ocean Of Fear and Miss Ky and if you haven’t already, go check out these awesome bloggers!

Here’s the rules:

  • Thank the bloggers who nominated you. Thank you!!
  • Put the logo in your post.
  • Post 7 facts about yourself.
  1. I am currently watching Les Miserables. As we speak I am watching this for the first time, and it’s so good! So sad, but I really like it 🙂
  2. I’m starting University this September.  I’m going to be studying Biomedical Science in London, and I feel so unprepared but so excited 🙂
  3. I have a suitcase called Linda. When I was about 10 years old I jokingly called my suitcase Linda and for the past 8 years my parents and brother have just referred to it as Linda. So this is a normal conversation in our house: “Have you got Linda down from the attic?” “Not yet, have you got the ribbon to tie around her so we don’t lose her at the airport?” “Ooh Linda’s a bit dusty isn’t she? We need to remember to get her down from the attic more often and air her out.” My family is weird!
  4. I volunteered for three years. When I was 14 I started volunteering for EACH which is a charity that helps terminally ill children. I worked in a giant factory sorting out donations and packing them into boxes, and you would not believe some of the weird things people donate! (No, we can’t make money off of a giant bag of odd socks!) I had to stop when I was 17 though because I couldn’t manage college, tutoring, work, and volunteering but I really miss it.
  5. I am first aid trained. I know CPR, and basic first aid, and I’ve looked after so many children that I can now handle pretty much every emergency! But seriously guys, if you don’t know CPR or basic first aid (like how to treat burns and tie bandages) then please either take a course, or even look it up online. These are basic skills that I’ve had to use several times, and knowing what to do in an emergency could save someone’s life.
  6. I have lots of pairs of freckles. Most of the freckles I have are in pairs, I have them on my cheek, my wrist, and my elbow and up my arms, but they’re almost always right next to another one which I find cute because I can make smiley faces out of them 🙂
  7. I love socks. I don’t understand why people hate getting socks as presents, I love it! If any of you meet me, bring me socks (preferably new ones :P) and we will be instant friends 🙂
  • Nominate 15 other bloggers.
  1. As Told By Sean
  2. Sakara Dee
  3. Mon
  4. New Romantics
  5. Alternative Sunny Days
  6. Jenipeh
  7. Lyf With Em
  8. Girl Shadow
  9. Germerican Girl
  10. Invisible Me
  11. Amanda
  12. Katie Bun
  13. Child Of Cynicism
  14. Autumn
  15. New Romantics

Thank you for reading!

GUEST POST (*Trigger Warning* Child Abuse)

A little while after I started this blog I started talking with another blogger, Zion. I consider him to be a very good friend now, and after exchanging emails for a while I discovered that, although he is only 15 years old, he had a very challenging upbringing. A couple of days ago Zion asked me if he could write a summary of his experiences growing up, and if he could publish them here. The following is just an overview of his childhood and he chose not to talk about some aspects. I would be extremely grateful if you could show some love for this wonderful guy, I know it wasn’t easy for him to do this, so if you could give him all your support it would mean the world. Thank you.

I was born into an abusive household, the abuse wasn’t towards me, but my mom and 5 aunts. Before I was 8 months old my mom left and I was homeless for about 3 years of my life being in and out of motels, or someone’s room for rent that we would be kicked out of for not being able to pay. My mom started staying with “friends” of hers from when she was younger when I was almost 4. They were really controlling and mean to her making her do things because it was “the best choice” when it was really because they wanted her to. My biological dad wasn’t around my life until around then when I spent a grand total of 1 hour with him before he dropped off the face of the earth again.

During this time my mom met her first husband she would marry. His name was Steve. The guy was really creepy and I had just a bad feeling about him. My mom and Him would have sex all the time when I was in the room with them, and they would tell me to just look at the TV. Thankfully I did just that and didn’t see them do anything. They got married about 3 weeks before Christmas  and during their honeymoon my mom got pregnant with my sister.

Now that my they were married they moved into a apartment and that’s where my abuse started. When ever my mom wasn’t home (which was a lot because she was going to school) he would beat me for doing just about anything. I couldn’t breath without the fear of being punched or slapped or kicked. Once my sister was born it got worse, my mom started getting into the abuse. She would lock me in the bedroom for hours and only let me out to eat or for school (I was in 1st grade at this point) or when someone came over to the house. If I had to go to the bathroom I would be hit and yelled at for it and wouldn’t be allowed out for a meal, or something like that.

After less than a year they got a divorce because he cheated, so my mom, sister, and I went to a city a few hours away with her friends.  I was really far behind in school because they tried to “homeschool” me after the school questioned the bruises I was getting. The “homeschool” was really just them keeping me home all day cleaning and getting beaten. While we were living there, the abuse stopped, and her friends took really great care of me. I didn’t get locked in a room, or have the crap beat out of me, or have to do ridiculous amounts of work.

I started 2nd grade there and sadly had to leave only a few weeks into school because my mom moved on with my sisters grandparents. There I started getting treated like crap again. My sisters grandparents treated her as if she was God and me like I was the scum of the earth. After her grandpa had a crazy melt down and got super drunk, my mom moved out and we started staying with the person names heather and her hell spawn of a daughter. Her daughter was 8, and would bite, scratch, kick, yell, cuss out, and just about anything else you can think of on a daily basis. Her mom would just make excuses for her being crazy. At school (I’m now in 3rd grade) some kids would call her the Devil’s daughter because of how she would act.

I had to say with them about a year before we moved into a house with just my mom sister and I. She let her friend from when she was younger move in and his name was Brett, and he started cheating on his girlfriend with my mom. He slowly but surely started making my mom do things for him, making her parent different, and telling her the different things she was and wasn’t allowed to do. We ended up moving from that house to an apartment where Brett moved in a little later, and this is where things went downhill again. Because they were a “couple” he decided to start making the rules for is all. What would happen in a day is: he goes to work my sister and I go to school, I come home get yelled at from my mom because of her mess, she goes and smokes weed (because he also had a drug issue that he passed on to my mom), I clean the entire apartment make dinner and do my homework, do my night chores ( the entire apartment because they made it a mess again), and then stay up until 3 in the morning to finish my homework. Mind you I’m only on 5th grade at the time. Now this goes on and on for years, but ever so slowly getting worse and worse.

When I was in 7th grade they moved to a new house, and things got worse. They started drinking really hard alcohol and drugs so the screaming got worse, the fighting between them got worse, my punishments got bigger (if the stove wasn’t perfect then I would have everything I owned taken from my room and usually only half of it would get back to me), and the workload even bigger. This new house had an acre of land now so I had to take care of all of it myself, on top of the massive size of the house (4500 sq feet) and school all made life impossible. After being in the house about a year Brett started to shove me and threaten to beat me. I told people about that and when my mom and Brett found out said I lied and made this huge thing of none of that happened, then threatened that if anyone else heard of it I would be put into a  juvenile facility.

My mom left Brett and I went and stayed with my aunt and uncle (who I am now with permanently). My mom went back to him a couple of times, but I never went back. She is now homeless because he threatens to kill her and so she left, and she has a “boyfriend” from the mental hospital she went to in the last couple months because of her bipolar and other mental health issues. My sister is with her grandparents, and I haven’t seen or talked to them in almost 3 months. My sister because I don’t have a way to talk to her, and my mom because I want nothing to do with her.

I’m currently in 10th grade (for America not sure of its different around the world), and have been with my aunt and uncle for almost 6 months. They are helping me with all that in processing and dealing with like my nightmares and aggression. I’m also with my 2 cousins (5 and 1.5 years old) who are the main reasons that I work through what I went through. So as of now I’m finally out of the 15 years of abuse and in a place that is safe.

I know this is a tough read, but Zion is such an amazing person and is now starting to deal with his past. If anyone reading this wants to talk to me about this post, or if you just want to have a chat, please email me. Or if you would like to speak to Zion about his experiences, or if you have been through something similar please feel free to get in touch with him (ziondutro@gmail.com). Thank you for reading.

Rant #1 – Universities

I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to do a series where I rant about things, because my blog is much too positive as it is! Plus, who doesn’t love a good whine!

So, my first thing I’m going to moan about is the Universities in England. Now I was lucky and managed to get into University without any trouble. My boyfriend, on the other hand, did not. The school system is designed to make him fail! He’s dyslexic and autistic, yet he’s expected to get a grade C in English before any University will accept him. He has taken this English exam 3 times, and is taking it again, tomorrow. Each time he has been one or two marks off. How is this fair?

In England there’s a thing called “Clearing” where if Universities have spaces left you can apply for them, my boyfriend has tried this and each of them have said they can’t make a decision until he passes this exam. We’re stuck in a limbo. He gets more and more stressed about the exam each time, and this is it. Tomorrow is his last chance.

So Universities, if you’re reading this… Do something! I understand that having a good level of English helps you to do well in University, but come on, if you have places available and students who want to get in, what’s the problem?! My boyfriend got better college grades than we were expecting (equivalent to 3 A’s at A-level) and a B in Maths and you still can’t make an exception?! Ughhh!

Okay, I’m done. Have any of you had similar problems? Or have you had problems with your school? As ever, thanks for reading and please feel free to get in touch 🙂

I’m back from my holiday!

I’m home! I have been without internet for days and I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms! My boyfriend and I have just got home from our holiday, and I just wanted to say thank you for all the lovely comments and emails wishing us a happy holiday. It was brilliant! I had no work, no responsibility, just tons of food, it was perfect.

We went to a theme park where I discovered my boyfriend is fearless and I’m such a coward! And we spent approximately 48 hours in the arcades on the 2p machines where I spent a week’s worth of wages, but it was totally worth it 🙂 Do they have 2p machines in other countries? If not, you guys are missing out! Basically, they’re machines where you put 2p’s (money) into the machine, it falls down and falls into a pit of other 2p’s, then the machine pushes the money along and the toys that are on top of the money end up falling down. I explained that so badly, but that’s the best I can do. So I basically spent £30 to win a bunch of keyrings, stationary, and other random junk I will never use. But it was fun 🙂 I also may have unknowingly flirted with a guy who works there because whilst I was talking to him he winked at me and handed me a tub of free stuff (don’t tell Kyle :P)

2p Machines!!

Three days without internet let me do a lot of thinking, and I realised I complain a lot!! So I’m thinking about doing a series on here just ranting about things. Don’t worry, they won’t be too serious, but I think it’ll be very therapeutic (especially whilst I’m at University) so keep a look out for that 🙂

I’m going on holiday!

Finally! I am taking a (well deserved) break from everything! For four days I will have no work, no tutoring, no housework, no annoying brother, and no responsibilities and I couldn’t be happier. Okay, we’re not going to anywhere exotic, we’re not even going out of the country, but my boyfriend and I are going to visit his family in Essex and I’m so excited! However, I won’t be able to get much internet access to reply to any of you but please, still get in touch if you need to and I’ll reply as soon as I can. I’ve got a ton of blog awards to do so I’ll schedule a few of those whilst I’m gone.

I’ll be scheduling this post for Sunday morning, so whilst you’re reading this I’ll probably be driving up to Essex 🙂

As always, thanks for reading!

GUEST POST: Have Faith In The Universe – by Sean

I’ve been in touch with a lovely blogger, Sean, and I want to say a big thank you to him for allowing me to post this wonderful piece.

Hello everyone…

Let’s discuss Depression today. I’ve been in that dark place before and it’s not something I ever want to go back to, actually I’ve been there twice. Once when my mother passed away then in my Sophomore year in High school. These would have to be the hardest times in my life and I’m thankful I was able to come out of the dark cave. Let me dive deeper.

I was nine years old when I lost my Mom to Breast Cancer. It was horrific and sad, but the thing that depressed me was that, neither of my parents would be around. My father, I can only guess what he’s doing right now but anyway, I didn’t have either of my parents. I ended up living with my older sister who is great but the thing was, my mother was gone as well as my father. I fell into a depression because I felt like a burden on my older sisters. One was working and the other already had a family of her own so what was a Sean suppose to do? I remained depressed for the next two years. I never thought about killing myself but I didn’t want to be alive. I was 11 now and I was more mature. I had to grow up and come to the harsh realization that the world did not owe me anything. The universe took my mother and I had to deal with that. Once I came to terms with my mother’s passing, I got better. Things got better. For a while I had to fake my own happiness until I eventually was happy and it wasn’t until I was 13 when I realized I was finally better and my laughter and smiles were actually genuine.

It was my Sophomore year in High school and it felt like I was losing my mind. Not only were my grades sub par but I felt as if I wasn’t sleeping or enjoying myself. No matter what I did I was not happy. (Again with the theme of happiness.) I felt this way until the summer going into my junior year. During the summer I lived on a college campus as part of this program I am involved in, isolated from everything I knew was troubling me. My friends within the program helped me through this tough time. They believed they were just being my friends but little did they know, they helped me through and out of my depressed phase. Along with coming out of my depressed phase, I also grew into my own body. I used to always say I was a 9 year old in a 22 year old’s body, (I have the body of a 22 year old college football player) but I finally grew into myself. My personality evolved, I became the Sean I was born to be.

Depression can be tricky. Depending on if the issue is internal or external there are different ways of handling it. The depression with my Mom was dealt with internally, it just happened that I molded into being happy. The depression during my 10th grade year was dealt with externally. My friends helped me through it. If you’re depressed or someone you know, tell them that it gets better. TRUST ME. It does. Have faith in the universe.

Sean (forever hopeful)

Thanks again, Sean, and if anyone reading this would like to talk or would like to write a guest post please get in touch!