My boyfriend died 5 years ago. This morning he made me pancakes.

Have I got your attention now? Good!

I should probably start at the beginning. This morning by boyfriend made me breakfast and we began talking about whether there’s life after death. Now I personally am not religious but I like the idea that there is Something out there, and that when I die I’ll go to the Somewhere where there is happiness and kindness and Unicorns and blah blah blah etc.

Then, while still eating pancakes, my boyfriend casually said “You know it’s actually quite nice, I’ve only died once but it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.”  Wait…What?! Turns out that 5 years ago he was at his dad’s house and he passed out. His heart stopped beating. His dad performed CPR until the paramedics arrived and he was taken to the hospital where they managed to restart his heart. According to my boyfriend he just felt peaceful, like there was nothing to worry about and he said he felt happy. It terrifies me that Kyle could have died that day, if his dad hadn’t come home early or if the paramedics got stuck in traffic then he may not be alive today. But it also reminds me he, and everyone I love, is precious. Plus I’m a little bit less scared of dying now because now I’m sure there’s Something (and although Kyle didn’t see any Unicorns I’m sure they’re there) and I’m also a little more convinced there’s a Someone and I’m so grateful they chose to save Kyle that day.